It's not all about the # on the scales

So, I weighed today since it's been a week since my last weigh-in when I decided to change my lifestyle. I stepped on, telling myself that "it's not about what the scale says, it's about how I feel." And, I feel pretty good. Much better than I did a week ago. Better physically and mentally. I don't feel as tired, hopeless, and negative as I did. That alone makes me very happy. But, as I stepped on and looked at the number, I realized I've lost 3 pounds! And I didn't even do it by "counting points," exercising like a maniac, or any strict diet plan. I just made much better food choices, listened for my body to tell me it was physically hungry, and walked my dog (and 2 year old) around the neighborhood some days. YAY! I can REALLY do this!

Baby Steps

As you know, I've recommitted to my healthy lifestyle/weight loss goal this week. I'm trying to just take "baby steps" this time instead of taking an "all or nothing" approach. For instance, I haven't jumped into doing the Weight Watchers program (on my own) or anything else structured. For now, I'm just focusing on making healthier food choices and trying to pay attention to my body/brain signals that I'm really hungry and need to eat something, instead of eating out of boredom, habit, or any other emotion. I'm also making it a point to be physically active. I've started going for walks outside now that the weather is warming up, and when weather doesn't permit, I plan to walk on my treadmill. I've done Weight Watchers in the past (and was successful, losing 80 lbs), but I'm not sure yet if that's the approach I want and need to take this time. I also have a book called 'The Complete Beck Diet for Life' that I've started reading previously and I may decide to finish it and start trying that approach. Or, maybe this "healthy choices and doing more activity" jumpstart will work well and I'll stick with it. In the past, I've needed strict structure (like Weight Watchers) to be successful. At this point in my life though, it seems like I may need less structure. So, I'm just going to see how it goes for awhile and then make changes if and when it's necessary. Thank you for taking this journey with me. I need all the support I can get!

Oh, and I'd like to add, I went grocery shopping today and didn't buy any junk food! I had to pass the display of Reese's Eggs and Cadbury Eggs! I didn't even slow down. I walked down the baking aisle and didn't study the cake and brownie mixes. Then I had to walk by the bakery and stand at the deli counter as the donut case stared me down! I just said NO! If you don't already know, sweets are my huge downfall. I LOVE them, I CRAVE them, and I feel like I can't live without them. Ironically though, I've realized that I have to live without them if I want to live at all. And I do.

Another Start

Well, it's now March 2010 and here I am now at 330 lbs. I'm ashamed, I'm scared, I'm disgusted. I HAVE to do something, but I just can't seem to get STARTED. I jumped onto sparkpeople.com this morning and decided to try to start with that to help motivate me. They have community boards and you can have friends with the same problems you are struggling with. This really HAS to be it or I fear for my life. I'm going to keep it at that for this post. I'll definitely plan to stop in here a few times a week and post updates on my progress, as well as use this as a personal journal for myself. Thanks for reading and sticking with me!